You’ll like this cuz it’s like that

I “liked” the Lowell George page on Facebook a little while ago.

I was then immediately bombarded with suggestions about other musical artists’ pages I might like to “like”… and, frankly, Facebook’s suggestion that I might appreciate the “The Band” page is rather annoying (almost as annoying as the music of The Band itself).

I adore Fiona Apple. However… in no universe and under no sun does that mean I’d also be enamored of Regina Spektor or Tori Amos. As a matter of fact, my top five favorite female vocalists have NOTHING in common — neither genre, style, quality, pitch, phrasing, nor vocal range.

I’ve been obsessing on Law & Order: Criminal Intent for well over a decade. But, unlike the folks out there who can’t seem to differentiate between well-penned procedurals with complex leads and formulaic drivel with cardboard characters, I do not have the slightest regard for Criminal Minds. Nor would I, even if it were the only thing on.

I won’t eat at a chain restaurant if given a choice… but don’t think that means I idolize Alice Waters or am impressed by trendy foodie establishments and their respective overpriced wine selections.

I rabidly support women’s reproductive rights and gurrrl power. It does not necessarily follow that I wish to ban guns or outlaw nuclear power. Or even that I’m offended by wolf whistles from construction workers.

Don’t box me in.

And while I’m at it, do not offer me poor man’s substitutes, figuring I won’t know the difference.

If I want butter, margarine just won’t do. And ground turkey will never ever cut the mustard (or the mayo, pickle, lettuce, and tomato).

The algorithms of retailers, lobbyists, and other commercial concerns (including Facebook) don’t work on me… and I find the expectation that they would highly insulting.

Don’t box me in.

I don’t vote straight ticket and my taste is my own.

And just because, in the limited imagination of many, A = B, it actually doesn’t… so please don’t ever assume you know what I like or would like/think/say/do about/in any situation or with regard to anything.

Unless you actually, ya know, KNOW.

And chances are, you don’t.

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